Offended person: who is an offended person and what makes them offended?
1. Focus is inward and introspective
They feel used and rejected, unappreciated ; they may experience miracles , strong preaching, healing etc but these gifts of the spirit will show no fruit.
They will be cut off from the ability to produce fruit because their heart is barren and bitter. They have nothing nice to say to anyone. It will show on their face.
Genesis 4:3-8
New King James Version
3 And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. 4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, 5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.
6 So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
8 Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.”
2. Receive correct information but make wrong conclusions and decisions. This is very common in churches. They become like vagabonds running from church to church because they feel persecuted and are suspicious of everyone . They refuse to accept chastising from God at the pulpit. They become unteachable and so there is no character development as they fail every test of God.
Genesis 4:14
Surely You have driven me out this day from the face of the ground; I shall be hidden from Your face; I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth, and it will happen that anyone who finds me will kill me.”
This is Cain without repentance.
3. They show a sweet countenance but they are out to get even and cause chaos.
2 Timothy 3:6-8
New King James Version
6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith;”
4. Their attitude is that everyone is out to get them. & do not care about them. They isolate themselves and become prisoners of themselves
Proverbs 18:1
New King James Version
18 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment”
5. Unwilling to form relationships with others in case they get hurt. They relate to others based on their past experiences ( when we leave a church/ relationship embittered and offended, we will carry it to the next relationship and then we wonder why nothing goes right for us)
6. This person never matures because of disobedience .
Preserves other’s sins by harboring resentment and unforgiveness .
Absalom in the Bible was offended that David did nothing when Ammon raped his sister and took matters into his own hands.
He killed Ammon and eventhough David forgave him, he committed treason and went to war with his father. Starting from 2 Samuel 13 to 2 Samuel 15, Absolam plotted for 40 years to overthrow David. A long time to hold an offense and in the end he himself was killed during the war. His hair which was his pride snared him and David’s army was able to kill him.
Saul became offended when people praised David over him
1 Samuel 18:5-16
New King James Version
5 So David went out wherever Saul sent him, and behaved wisely. And Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. 6 Now it had happened as they were coming home, when David was returning from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women had come out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy, and with musical instruments. 7 So the women sang as they danced, and said:
“Saul has slain his thousands,
And David his ten thousands.”
8 Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 So Saul eyed David from that day forward.”
Saul tried to kill David but in the end, Saul was severely wounded in a battle, asked his amorbearer to kill him. When he would not, Saul fell on his own sword and died. The enemy cut off his head and they fastened his body to the wall of the city of Beth-shan.
Effects of offence
1. Offence makes us feel unworthy
and can change how we view ourselves, our abilities and our actions
2. It cause us to lose our faith because we give the devil access. He fills us with despair and turns us away from God.
3. It causes us to lose peace in our lives and causes us to lose relationships . It is hard to trust people and accept them into our lives.
4. It causes us to run away from family, love and relationships.
If we keep running , we will never find out and miss out on a greater blessing. If we set our heart on running from difficult situations, God will release us
I ran away to Abbotsford, found an apartment and a job in a church. I even had a car. I was set and did not want to have anything to do with a husband who called me fat….I thought I was happy but I felt a burden in my heart.
God did not want me to run away but He allowed it because I was set on running away. 2 weeks into my so called freedom, while I was praying, the Lord told me to go home. This time I was obedient .
God opened doors of ministry for my husband and I. Praise the Lord!
Offence Overcomers
Is someone who is taught of the Bible and daily and prayerfully meditates on the word. He or she studies the word and waits on the Lord for revelation knowledge .
They allow Christ’s life to flow through them to help others.
They cast out spirit of retaliation from their life and determine to pray and love the offender. They do not allow offence to take root.
Just like alchoholic anonymous (AA)
we have OO (offence overcomers)
– OO meet daily at the feet of Jesus who will lead all the meetings. Refreshments will be provided. Bring only yourself
Remember Jesus and what He went through for us.
1 Peter 2:23
New King James Version
23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;”
Romans 4:24-25
New King James Version
24 but also for us. It shall be imputed to us who believe in Him who raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead, 25 who was delivered up because of our offenses, and was raised because of our justification.”
We are called to act not react.
Be a lover of peace, giver of peace and often maker of peace.
2 Thessalonians 3:15
New King James Version
15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
Galatians 6:10
New King James Version
10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.
2 Corinthians 5:16-17
New King James Version
16 Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Luke 6:32-35
New King James Version
32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.”
Overcome offense by
1 Preaching/teaching the truth in love.
We need to look within us at the root of our feelings/ emotions and forgive ourselves first.
2 Meditating on the offenses the Lord Jesus went through for us and yet did not waiver. In fact , at the cross, He said ‘forgive them for they know not what they do’
We need to adopt that attitude and be focused on the end result, not the offense .Give no offense but imitate Jesus
Ephesians 4:15
New King James Version
15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—
3 Pray for the offender and continue to love them. Prayer will allow God to change them and allow God to change our attitude .
4 Forgive them right away as you have been forgiven. Then remember the offense no more as God remembers our sins no more when we go to Him for forgiveness.
Luke 17:3-4
New King James Version
3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
4. Focus on the word of God
Proverbs 19:11
New King James Version
11 The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression.”
God’s word empowers us, gives determination, blesses us wirh wisdom and energy. Get to know Jesus .
Psalm 119:130
New King James Version
130 The entrance of Your words gives light;
It gives understanding to the simple.”
5. Practise the ministry of reconciliation
2 Corinthians 5:18-20
New King James Version
18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
20 Now we are called to be ambassadors for Christ.”
Ministers of reconciliation do not take sides. We have to listen but when a complaint starts about an absent individual, stop the person and ask
‘ Have you talked to ___________ yourself about this matter?’
If they say yes but cannot resolve it then agree to accompany them.
Matthew 18:15-16
New King James Version
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’”
Do not take the offense of another but throughout the process, our responsibility is to pray that hearts will soften and the enemy will not enter into the offense and cause increase in division . We need to make a commitment as a church to hold each other accountable regarding giving and listening to positive report.
Matthew 5:9
New King James Version
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God”
6. We should have a servant attitude
1 Corinthians 9:19-23
New King James Version
19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; 20 and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; 21 to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; 22 to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. 23 Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.”
2 Timothy 2:24-26
New King James Version
24 And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25 in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, 26 and that they may come to their senses andescape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.”
7. Submit to God and allow Holy Spirit to work in you
James 4:7
New King James Version
7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
8. Love and help one anothet. If we hope to deepen relationships, or even have a relationship, we need to forget all offence and love anyway
Ephesians 3:16-19
New King James Version
16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height is the love of Christ. 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
All relationships must be based on our love for God and His unfailing love for us.
Head knowledge alone; memorizing Bible verses and knowing where the verses are in the Bible will not help us. We need to have revelation knowledge that Holy Spirit gives us through the Word.
Do not just listen and take note but allow Spirit to talk to you.
1 John 4:20
New King James Version
20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”
Love someone enough to speak the truth. Jesus offended many but for the truth. If you preach the truth, you will offend someone and they may stop being your friend or leave church but do not grieve for them . Focus on what the Lord has placed in your life/church and continue to feed and grow them. Being afraid to offend with the truth may cause a greater loss in the kingdom of God . By not confronting the big givers in church or a friend, they will continue to sin. You would have lost these and those who are watching and listening to you in faith.
Examples of Offence Overcomers
1. Joseph
Genesis 45:5-8
New King James Version
5 But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. 7 And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 So now it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.”
Genesis 50:19-20
New King James Version
19 Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”
Joseph was enjoying his father’s favor when he was yanked out of his comfort by his own brothers and went through trials.
Because he was rooted and grounded in God, he did not waiver in his obedience, faith and trust. He secured peace thro God’s word . He humbled himself and God exalted him.
We may go through trials that takes our zeal for life.. How are we going to act?
2 Jesus
He offended people because He spoke the truth. If people confronted Him with their offense, He answered them based on the Word and rebuked them. Other times He ignored them.
Matthew 15:12-14
New King James Version
12 Then His disciples came and said to Him, “Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?”
13 But He answered and said, “Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14 Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch.”
3 Samuel
1 Samuel 2:11-18
New King James Version
11 Then Elkanah went to his house at Ramah. But the child (Samuel) ministered to the Lord before Eli the priest.
12 Now the sons of Eli were corrupt; they did not know the Lord. 13 And the priests’ custom with the people was that when any man offered a sacrifice, the priest’s servant would come with a three-pronged fleshhook in his hand while the meat was boiling. 14 Then he would thrust it into the pan, or kettle, or caldron, or pot; and the priest would take for himself all that the fleshhook brought up. So they did in Shiloh to all the Israelites who came there. 15 Also, before they burned the fat, the priest’s servant would come and say to the man who sacrificed, “Give meat for roasting to the priest, for he will not take boiled meat from you, but raw.”
16 And if the man said to him, “They should really burn the fat first; then you may take as much as your heart desires,” he would then answer him, “No, but you must give it now; and if not, I will take it by force.”
17 Therefore the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for men abhorred the offering of the Lord.
18 But Samuel ministered before the Lord, even as a child, wearing a linen ephod.”
Eli and his 2 wicked sons (Hophni and Phinehas) were priests
Eli’s sons were corrupt, manipulated the people and committed fornication but Eli did nothing
Verse 18 says but samuel ministered before God. Samuel went about God’s business in obedience.
We are here to serve not judge. God is quite capable of dealing with His own
1 Samuel 4:11
New King James Version
11 Also the ark of God was captured; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, died.
1 Samuel 4:18
New King James Version
18 Then it happened, when he made mention of the ark of God, that Eli fell off the seat backward by the side of the gate; and his neck was broken and he died, for the man was old and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years “
4 David
1 Samuel 24 gives us an insight to David and why God called him, a man after His own heart. Despite being pursued relentlessly by Saul, who wanted to kill him; when he was presented with an opportunity to attack Saul, he did not. Bible say he even rebuked his own man. He spoke to Saul saying, ‘Look I could have killed you but I didn’t….’ causing Saul to repent.
God has a perfect plan for us wherever we are placed. It maybe a blessing but it may also be a test. However there will be trials and attitudes we do not want to face but know that we will be strengthened when we overcome
We need to set our heart on knowing God and His Word in all things. He will be the rock that will get us through all conflicts.
Believe that He will heal and change us. He will give us strength and power to stand and withstand
all offences.
2 Corinthians 6:3-10
New King James Version
3 We give no offense in anything, that our ministry may not be blamed. 4 But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, 5 in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings; 6 by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, 7 by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, 8 by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as deceivers, and yet true; 9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.”
Leave a comment