Those were the warring days. These days being on my own, single, working and trying to make ends meet and everything being online(you know
sitting comfortable on the couch; snores fill the room not praising the Lord! When I awake, service is over, and I gained nothing.
I became busy living the single life carefree and enjoying the frredom to answer to no man. I became of this world and in this world.
I spoke to everyone how I loved my job and I became obsessed over it. So, when I got fired from the job, it was a wake up call.
Hello! What did it mean? I got a job right away, but I had never been fired before and I am 62 years old. especially when I thought I was doing well.
I was troubled and everyday I became more overwhelmed by all these thoughts bombarding my mind; judgemental thoughts, fault finding with others,
self doubt and put downs, sexual imaginations…. Everyday I had to fight , yell, and cast out demonic thoughts. I knew I was saved but the battle
was fierce.
I read 2 passages that kept me sane and with the Lord.
Romans 8: ‘5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh,
but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually
minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.
8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.’
Galatians 5: ‘16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the
Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and
desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. ‘
I have lived my life satisfying the flesh. I indulged in my carnal thoughts (oh! I think that guy smiled at me. I will say yes to lunch and more.
I will try a tequila. What harm is that? My friends drink all night and drive home safe. I just have to walk home;
I am tired and I will sleep in. I will tell the boss I am sick)
I was not doing the things I wish. I wanted to grow in Spirit and have a deeper relationship with Jesus.
Instead I was so distracted by fighting with the devil and my flesh – obsessed with the worldly things and not Jesus.
Truly I have been body conscious and not spirit conscious. My spirit had become dormant as the body took over control.
This repentance and wanting my spirit to have control and know Jesus deeper began my journey to discover and develop my spirit,
speaking in tongues and knowing Holy Spirit for who He is.
Romans 8 continues to say: ‘9 But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit,
if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you.
Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. 10 And if Christ is in you,
the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 But if
the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ
from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in
you. 12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the
flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to
death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God,
these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but
you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit
Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children,
then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we
may also be glorified together.
26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should
pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings
which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the
Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.’
John 3:’ 5 Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the
Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.’
Ephesians 1:’3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with
every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in
Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before
Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to
Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His
grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the
riches of His grace 8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom
and prudence, 9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good
pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the
times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and
which are on earth—in Him. 11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being
predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the
counsel of His will, 12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His
glory. 13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation.
in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of
promise, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the
purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.’
I attended a Holy Ghost meeting and began to speak in tongues. I wanted to be acquainted with Holy Spirit who is the guarantee of my
Inheritance. Right now, as I walk in the Spirit, speaking in tongues, listening and being obedient to God’s instruction, I know that I am
Being transformed. As I get closer to Jesus, the more I feel attacked, bombarded, and overwhelmed. However, I have learnt as soon as I feel
I open my mouth to praise Him who is in control of my life; Jesus and continued that with speaking in tongues.
Kenneth Hagin said, to have God’s best for us, we need to,
1. Be hungry and thirsty for His best. Search for it, have faith for it, believe and receive His best for us.
2. Constantly resist doubt. Do not entertain it. The cure for doubt is faith. Believe God’s Word for what it says and act on it.
Say it out loud in your prayers and believe it. Faith will cause us to receive the miraculous into our lives. I pray that for all who read this blog. Amen
Leave a comment